How to Find Your Soulmate
Many people feel that there's one person out there who can enrich your life in a way that no one else can. If this is true, how can you increase your chances of finding this person? And when you meet him or her, how will you know it's your soulmate?
Steps
- Make yourself a better person. Instead of waiting for your soulmate to appear, make yourself apparent to him or her. Become the spectacular human being you want to be. Expressing your individuality is the closest you can come to advertising your soulmate potential. Not only will you stand out, but you'll also be doing things that are more likely to bring you closer to your soulmate, who probably has similar interests and goals.
- Remember that your soulmate might not be what you expect. If there's only one person in the world who can be your soulmate, what are the chances that she'll live in your town, look like the people you grew up with, or even speak the same language? If you're expecting your soulmate to be love at first sight, you might never find what you're looking for. So keep an open mind. Part of the romance of having a soulmate is being pleasantly surprised.
- Be patient. Fate doesn't work on a schedule. Your soulmate might cross your path when you're 8 or 80 years old. Yes, you might look forward to spending the majority of your life with your soulmate--perhaps buying a house, getting married, starting a family--but it may or may not be in the cards. A soulmate isn't always a lifemate. Your soulmate will color your world no matter how old you are, so don't rush into things, or else you might end up forcing the wrong person into the soulmate box, which will cause pain for everyone involved.
- Accept people for who they are, not who you want them to be. When you've got all these fantasies flying around in your head about how wonderful and special your soulmate will be, it can be easy to look for those specific characteristics and features in anyone you get involved with. Unfortunately, unrealistic expectations can ruin a relationship, and might even chase your soulmate away. Whoever it is that you think might be your soulmate, appreciate their individuality and trust that if this person is your soulmate, they'll never need to change who they are for you, just like you'll never need to change who you are for them.
- Weather the storms. Contrary to what popular media would have you believe, meeting your soulmate doesn't guarantee "happily ever after." Things won't get easier when you find that special someone and in fact, they might get even harder. Ultimately, a soulmate is someone you can grow with, and the only way to grow together is to face challenges together. So if you put your heart and soul into a relationship, stick with it through the ups and downs, even when you question whether it's meant to be, and you might look back decades later and realize that you were with your soulmate all along.
Tips
- Find yourself before you find your soulmate. Once you're happy with yourself, a soulmate will make you even happier, but no one can fill a void created by not knowing who you are. Only you can do that.
- The more people you meet, the more likely you are to meet your soulmate, so try and talk to as many people as possible. You never know if the next person you talk to could be your soulmate.
- Pursue interests and activities that mean a lot to you. The Internet has made this a whole lot easier. Check forums, listings, classifieds, and Internet mailing lists (known as "listservs") for local events or meetings that are likely to attract people with similar interests or passions.
- Don't be too picky. If you keep holding out for the perfect person, you're guaranteed to miss out. If you're in a room full of people with similar interests, you should be able to pick out one or two people who you'd like to date--not 10, not 0. Make it a point to not leave the event without showing interest and making a connection with a few people.
- When you meet someone who feels like soulmate potential, don't get carried away. It's so easy to get lost in fantasies of how awesome your relationship might be, but with those fantasies come high expectations, and sometimes those expectations are unrealistic! Make it a point to remind yourself that this new person is human, which means they're not perfect. They will make mistakes, and you need to be ready to cope and forgive, rather than act shocked that the person dares to be anything but perfect.
- While you're waiting for your soulmate, people might question why you're single. They might even imply that something is "wrong" with you if you're "still" single. Brace yourself for that kind of ignorance. Remember that you don't have to defend your being single, just like it's rude to attack the validity of someone's relationship.
- Have you ever wanted or looked for something, but only found it when you stopped looking? The same principle might work for finding your soulmate. Become so busy with your life that you totally forget about meeting your soulmate and, odds are, that's when your soulmate will pop up.
- Another tip would be to NOT date the same person five times. Even if he/she is your soulmate/love-of-your-life the fact that you broke up fives times says a lot. Just move on. Stop thinking about this person and questioning "what if?" because chances are that if you didn't get those "what ifs?" answered in the five times you were together, it's not going to work out a sixth time.
Warnings
- If you're with someone who is manipulative or abusive in any way, rest assured that you are NOT with your soulmate. Break it off as quickly as possible, or else you might never meet your soulmate because you're too busy dealing with an unhealthy relationship.
- Don't obsess over finding your soulmate. Coming off as needy and desperate for love is not attractive to a soulmate--or anyone else, for that matter!
- Don't confuse chemistry with destiny. When you meet someone you're intensely attracted to, everything in your body could be telling you that this is your soulmate, but that could be hormones and lust talking. Remember that your soulmate could be someone who you already know but never even considered romantically.
- There's a danger in being so idealistic that you overlook basic safety precautions and red flags. Remember that there are still hurtful people out there who will take advantage of your hopefulness and use it against you. If, for example, all your friends and family think a particular person is not a good match for you, don't brush them off. They might be onto something.